都說好的文書(shu) 可以極大程度的影響申請結果，尤其是衝(chong) 刺美國前十、大藤、英國牛劍等頂尖院校，更離不開一份引人入勝的文書(shu) 。
暑假即將來臨(lin) ，最近我們(men) 收到許多同學訴苦：正在為(wei) 文書(shu) 發愁，有的人活動一堆卻不知如何選擇，有人苦惱於(yu) 寥寥可數的活動，不知如何落筆
藤校康奈爾大學在官網為(wei) 大家提供了兩(liang) 個(ge) 文書(shu) 非常實用的建議
? 仔細思考文書(shu) 題目的含義(yi) ，不要試圖寫(xie) 你認為(wei) 我們(men) 所想聽到的答案，而是告訴我們(men) 你自己的觀點。
? 在你的文書(shu) 中，重要的是讓我們(men) 理解你的真實想法和感受。我們(men) 對你所選擇主題、你的個(ge) 人想法以及你如何展示自己有著強烈的興(xing) 趣。
如果你還沒有想法，不如參考一下那些成功爬藤的優(you) 秀文書(shu) 都怎麽(me) 寫(xie) 的吧。
我和身邊大多數的同齡人的愛好不太一樣，為(wei) 了讓我不落單，我開始試著去了解別人感興(xing) 趣的事情，趕上他們(men) 的節奏，加入他們(men) 的話題。事實證明，不是每個(ge) 人都擁有著同一頻率。努力融入群體(ti) 的我，不但沒有讓我更快樂(le) ，反而凸顯出更強烈的孤獨感。
於(yu) 是，我開始和Alice一樣，脫離這個(ge) 頻率的族群，回歸到自己，在屬於(yu) 自己的海洋中暢遊：
熱愛教育，利用假期來到雲(yun) 南支教，走進孩子的世界，傾(qing) 聽他們(men) 的聲音；
喜歡攝影，用心去感受自然萬(wan) 物的聲響，自學PS，記錄下我眼中的世界；
喜歡乒乓球，所以從(cong) 小學習(xi) ，感受跳動的節奏，並堅持至今......
在一次次堅守本心的追逐中，不僅(jin) 清晰了自己的申請目標，也在為(wei) 著自己目標前進的路途中結交了誌同道合的“鯨魚”們(men) 。
——Jennifer的自我探索曆程
Jennifer在文書(shu) 中不僅(jin) 體(ti) 現了她的獨立、堅持，每一步的改變都能讓大家感受到她的真誠和對自己所愛目標的熱情，這也正好和康奈爾大學官方給的建議不謀而合。
前段時間，哈佛大學、約翰霍普金斯大學、埃默裏大學也紛紛發布了2025屆錄取學生的優(you) 秀文書(shu) ，並做出了官方的點評，一起看看招生官們(men) 眼中的好文書(shu) 需要具備什麽(me) 要素。
哈佛大學
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I hate the letter S. Of the 164,777 words with S, I only grapple with one.
I hate the letter “S”. Of the 164,777 words with “S”, I only grapple with one. To condemn an entire letter because of its use 0.0006% of the time sounds statistically absurd, but that one case changed 100% of my life. I used to have two parents, but now I have one, and the “S” in “parents” isn’t going anywhere.
“S” follows me. I can’t get through a day without being reminded that while my friends went out to dinner with their parents, I ate with my parent. As I write this essay, there is a blue line under the word “parent” telling me to check my grammar; even Grammarly assumes that I should have parents, but cancer doesn’t listen to edit suggestions. I won’t claim that my situation is as unique as 1 in 164,777, but it is still an exception to the rule - an outlier. The world isn’t meant for this special case.
The world wouldn’t abandon “S” because of me, so I tried to abandon “S”. I could get away from “S” if I stayed busy; you can’t have dinner with your “parent” (thanks again, Grammarly) if you’re too busy to have family dinner. Any spare time that I had, I filled. I became known as the “busy kid”- the one that everyone always asks, “How do you have time?” Morning meetings, classes, after school meetings, volleyball practice, dance class, rehearsal in Boston, homework, sleep, repeat. Though my specific schedule has changed over time, the busyness has not. I couldn’t fill the loss that “S” left in my life, but I could at least make sure I didn’t have to think about it. There were so many things in my life that I couldn’t control, so I controlled what I could- my schedule. I never succumbed to the stress of potentially over-committing. I thrived. It became a challenge to juggle it all, but I’d soon find a rhythm. But rhythm wasn’t what I wanted. Rhythm may not have an “S”, but “S” sure liked to come by when I was idle. So, I added another ball, and another, and another. Soon I noticed that the same “color” balls kept falling into my hands- theater, academics, politics. I began to want to come into contact with these more and more, so I further narrowed the scope of my color wheel and increased the shades of my primary colors.
Life became easier to juggle, but for the first time, I didn’t add another ball. I found my rhythm, and I embraced it. I stopped running away from a single “S” and began chasing a double “S”- passion. Passion has given me purpose. I was shackled to “S” as I tried to escape the confines of the traditional familial structure. No matter how far I ran, “S” stayed behind me because I kept looking back. I’ve finally learned to move forward instead of away, and it is liberating. “S” got me moving, but it hasn’t kept me going.
I wish I could end here, triumphant and basking in my new inspiration, but life is more convoluted. Motivation is a double edged sword; it keeps me facing forward, but it also keeps me from having to look back. I want to claim that I showed courage in being able to turn from “S”, but I cannot. Motivation is what keeps “S” at bay. I am not perfectly healed, but I am perfect at navigating the best way to heal me. I don’t seek out sadness, so “S” must stay on the sidelines, and until I am completely ready, motivation is more than enough for me.
? 招生官點評
Abigail的文章探討了大學申請中最微妙的主題之一：處理個(ge) 人或家庭悲劇。這個(ge) 話題最常見的陷阱是把一個(ge) 悲慘的事件表述的過度充滿悲哀和失落感，以至於(yu) 除了失落本身之外，無法體(ti) 現出作者自己的個(ge) 性。然而，Abigail的文書(shu) 巧妙地繞過了這一點，巧妙地使用字母“S”，以一種引人入勝且發人深省的方式分享了一段深刻的個(ge) 人旅程。
雖然“不完整”的家庭困擾著她，但她並沒有沉溺於(yu) 悲傷(shang) 中，而是反思了她的生活和她必須做出的調整：她用自己的興(xing) 趣愛好，去嚐試擁抱“SS”。我們(men) 看到了她心路曆程的變化，並且欣慰於(yu) 她的成長。
在文章最後，她坦然承認“生活是更加複雜”是令大家印象深刻的。我們(men) 看到了超脫她年紀的“現實主義(yi) ”和成熟感，在為(wei) 她的故事動容的同時，也更加期待她未來的發展。
約翰霍普金斯大學
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Lifelong Learning
The white yarn slipped off my aluminium crochet hook, adding a single crochet to rows and rows of existing stitches, that looked to be in the form of a blob. Staring at the image of the little unicorn amigurumi lit up on the screen of my laptop, and looking back at the UMO (unidentified messy object) number five, I was extremely perplexed.
This had seemed so easy. Round 1, construct a magic circle with 6 single crochets. Done. Round 2 was an increase round resulting in a total of 12 stitches. Also done. The remaining rounds were blurred into hours and minutes that should have resulted in a little white creature in the likeness of a unicorn, but sitting on my desk (much like the four days before today) was a pool of tangled white yarn. It was not until day seven that a creature with a lopsided head whose horn was the only identifier of the mythical being emerged.
Very much like learning how to crochet, my journey in forging my own path and finding a passion was confusing, messy and at times infuriating. Even in primary school, I had heard all the stories of individuals finding their own route in life. I had been told stories of those who found their passion at a young age and were exceptionally proficient at their craft, of those that abandoned their interests and pursued a lucrative career, even those who chose their dreams but regretted it afterwards. This weighed heavily on me, as I was determined to have a success story as many of my other family members had. The only problem was that I did not have a direction.
In the years following primary school, I stepped out of my comfort zone in a frenzy to find a passion. I joined the school orchestra where I played the violin, and a debate class to practice public speaking and become much more eloquent. At my ballet school, I branched out to contemporary and jazz dance. I stuffed myself with experience similar to an amigurumi engorged with batting. I found myself enjoying all of those activities but soon enough, I was swamped with extracurriculars. Just like the tangles of white yarn on my desk, I was pulled in all directions. I still felt lost. To make things worse, it seemed as if everyone else had found their path in life, and they had all become white unicorns while I was still doubting the stitch I just made.
It was not until high school that I realised that I could view this mission to find a passion from another perspective. While successfully completing a crochet project is an accomplishment itself, the motions of making slip knots, single or double crochets takes you on an adventure as well. The knots that I had encountered in my craft were evidence of my experiences and what shaped me as an individual. My exploration of various paths through detours may have sometimes resulted in roadblocks, but I continued to persevere and learn from my experiences, applying the skills that I have gained to future knots. The mini adventures that I went on were all crucial to me in the greater journey of life.
Through trial and error, the current adventure that I am on resonates the most with me, taking me down the path of service and environmental activism. However, I have learnt that no one path is static, and I can be on more than one path at a time. While I may only be halfway to the proportionate unicorn amigurumi that some others may have already achieved, I still have so much to learn and so much that I want to learn, and so my journey to grow continues.
? 招生官點評
Rozanne的文書(shu) 中展示了她如何發展鉤針編織這一愛好，以及如何發掘自己人生的激情所在，反映出了投入必要的努力和時間後，總會(hui) 有意義(yi) 非凡的收獲。
在文書(shu) 中還寫(xie) 到了舞蹈、環保活動等等對她的影響，不僅(jin) 是展示了她多麵性，更是讓我們(men) 看到她是一個(ge) 能利用把握機會(hui) ，去用自己的能力推動社會(hui) 發展，是一個(ge) 願意走出舒適區並且不斷反思進取的人。而我們(men) 的招生中，也希望找到能夠為(wei) JHU社區做貢獻的學生。
埃默裏大學
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Tell a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.
“How prone to doubt, how cautious are the wise!”
-Homer
“D’oh!”
-Homer Simpson
I’m not a philosopher; eloquence eludes me, the meaning of life is unquestioned, and thinking, beyond what is required to carry out a potential, is postponed to a more leisurely time. I’ve experienced doubt, and proceeded with caution; and in my experience, I’ve learned to discard unnecessary thought and conventional wisdom in favor of progress. Philosophy amounts to nothing unless it results in action.
“You’re kidding.” Scanning my schedule, my classmate shakes her head. “Why didn’t you take Dual Credit?” During Junior year, my high school began to incentivize Dual Credit courses with a GPA multiplier. Advertised to be less demanding than an AP class, Dual Credit was extolled as the wise man’s curriculum. So, mustering all the wisdom I had, I took 6 AP classes, and frankly, I enjoyed their depth. When it comes to education, I’m not cautious – and I’m prone to doubt. I just act. If I want chemistry, then I get chemistry; if I’m intrigued by psychology, then I pursue psychology. There is no point in pondering the inevitable; I am determined to take educational opportunities. I’ll judge the difficulty for myself after I complete it.
The practice of prioritizing action has proved useful in my pursuits. In ninth grade, I could have doubted my capability; instead I ran for office in the school’s health club and earned a position in the eleventh grade. That year, there was a debate amongst the members over meeting schedules: if the Technology Students Association meeting coincided with ours, how would we attract new members? As the club officers weighed the costs and benefits amongst themselves, I left the meeting and signed up for the technology club, discussed an agreement, and voted for the technology club to move its meetings to the second half of lunch before scheduling the Health club meetings for the first half. Did it require thinking? No. Eloquence? Hardly. Contrary to the anticipated speeches and club-based patriotism, it only took clear action and a request to solve the conflict. Attendance increased, and as a bonus, I enjoyed a continued membership with both organizations.
Beyond the sphere of public education, doubt-free determination facilitated my impact in the community. I am seventeen; I cannot vote in the upcoming elections. However, that does not mean I will hesitate to make a mark with my city. Small actions, from teaching addition to a church member’s kindergartener to tutoring three classmates for the SAT, matter in the long run. Can a teenage end world hunger? Doubtful; but by pulling weeds from the community garden, I can further progress one step at a time.
Not all actions end successfully. However, between cautious wisdom and failure, I choose action. I don’t fancy myself as wise; I’m not prone to doubt, nor am I perpetually cautious. I simply pursue my goal. As the wiser Homer has taught America, when torn between success and potential peril, one must simply “D’oh.”
? 招生官點評
在這篇文書(shu) 中，共有三個(ge) 關(guan) 鍵主題貫穿其中。
第一，學習(xi) 方法應該是積極的、深思熟慮的、具有反思的。在文章開篇，作者表達了學習(xi) 的熱情應該集中於(yu) 課程材料的本質上，並且他還表達了跨學科學習(xi) 的開放性和學習(xi) 不同學科的根本所在。
第二，是利用知識進行變革。作者在文中表明了自己想要去改善社區的個(ge) 人意願，雖然僅(jin) 僅(jin) 是針對小小社區，但由小見大，我們(men) 能看到她作為(wei) 一個(ge) 社會(hui) 公民所具有的社會(hui) 責任感。
第三，整篇文章中你能清晰地感受到作者具有不服輸的冒險精神，這是令人振奮的。這也表明，他已經做好準備進入埃默裏大學學習(xi) 。
總結下來，通過他的文書(shu) ，我們(men) 更全麵地了解這個(ge) 學生，而更重要的是，我們(men) 看到了他的個(ge) 人品質是和埃默裏大學的使命和社區價(jia) 值觀完美契合的。
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